That previous post was just to tease you. I really am going to write something today.
See that? I’m full of jokes.
Can you guess what I’m going to write about? Starts with an R and ends with an UNNING.
Put em’ together and we have… running! Yay! You excited?
Oh. You’re confused. You should be. I haven’t wrote a post since June and if you look back I WAS playing roller derby. Before that I was in the middle of writing a post about a trip Portland, Oregon. But here at ashdash.com, the writer of the ashdash hasn’t quite learned how to finish things in her 29 years of life on this earth. So, the fact that she a)quit roller derby or b)didn’t finish writing about Oregon shouldn’t really surprise you.
Alright folks, why am I writing in third person? Let’s stop that nonsense right now.
Oh. You’re confused again. You read what I said about roller derby didn’t you? Yeah, I quit. Why? Let me explain it in the simplest way possible. Roller derby is a full contact sport and I am not aggressive. Well, I take that back. I’m pretty aggressive with my words. Sometimes. Usually if I know you. Like, really know you. Like, if you’re married to me. Most of the time (all the time) I’m pretty easy going and run for the hills and hide when there is conflict. I prefer the peaceful route. So, when it comes to actual fighting aggression with my own limbs? Not-happening. It’s the most awkward thing in universe for me to do. I should say that roller derby fighting isn’t punching people in the face. It’s just using the side of your body and then hitting people with it. Sounds pretty easy right? Hah!
Roller skating? SO AWESOME! Rubbing up against people? NOT AWESOME. Awwwwkward.
There’s more…
I really can’t play organized sports. I thought maybe roller derby would be different cause there isn’t a ball involved. I really thought that was the reason I always hated playing volleyball, basketball, soccer, baseball, etc. Okay, wait. Baseball is just a big ol’ boring fest. That shit is just torture to play. But, it just comes down to this: I could care less if the team I’m playing on wins or loses. Remember the part where I said I’m not aggressive? This is a factor, too. If I’m going to play a game, I should want to win. But, if we get to the point where in my brain I say, “it’s just a game!” Isn’t it pointless to play? Note: I said playing. I love watching roller derby. Playing? Me? Ehhhhhh.
Wait. So, if I knew that I wasn’t aggressive why did I want to try roller derby in the first place? Jamming. I wanted to be a jammer (the star helmets that try to get through the pack). It’s A LOT harder than it looks. In fact, being a jammer is annoying. For me. There is a big wall of people you have to get through and remember how I said I didn’t like touching/hitting people?
Honestly, there are some AMAZING aspects that I liked about roller derby. WRD is the awesome. The people in the derby community are amazing. Everyone is down to earth and really nice. Even though they look tough, they really are just normal people. But, I’m not about to spend 9 hours a week on something I’m not passionate about. I am thinking about being a non-skating official though, but we shall see.
So, my plan is now to lace up my running shoes again. But, that’s another post for another day.
You really thought I was going to write about running didn’t you?
Fooled you!
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