Then I Quit Roller Derby

by Ashley on November 9, 2011

That previous post was just to tease you. I really am going to write something today.

See that? I’m full of jokes.

Can you guess what I’m going to write about? Starts with an R and ends with an UNNING.

Put em’ together and we have… running! Yay! You excited?

Oh. You’re confused. You should be. I haven’t wrote a post since June and if you look back I WAS playing roller derby. Before that I was in the middle of writing a post about a trip Portland, Oregon. But here at ashdash.com, the writer of the ashdash hasn’t quite learned how to finish things in her 29 years of life on this earth. So, the fact that she a)quit roller derby or b)didn’t finish writing about Oregon shouldn’t really surprise you.

Alright folks, why am I writing in third person? Let’s stop that nonsense right now.

Oh. You’re confused again. You read what I said about roller derby didn’t you? Yeah, I quit. Why? Let me explain it in the simplest way possible. Roller derby is a full contact sport and I am not aggressive. Well, I take that back. I’m pretty aggressive with my words. Sometimes. Usually if I know you. Like, really know you. Like, if you’re married to me. Most of the time (all the time) I’m pretty easy going and run for the hills and hide when there is conflict. I prefer the peaceful route. So, when it comes to actual fighting aggression with my own limbs? Not-happening. It’s the most awkward thing in universe for me to do. I should say that roller derby fighting isn’t punching people in the face. It’s just using the side of your body and then hitting people with it. Sounds pretty easy right? Hah!

Roller skating? SO AWESOME! Rubbing up against people? NOT AWESOME. Awwwwkward.

There’s more…

I really can’t play organized sports. I thought maybe roller derby would be different cause there isn’t a ball involved. I really thought that was the reason I always hated playing volleyball, basketball, soccer, baseball, etc. Okay, wait. Baseball is just a big ol’ boring fest. That shit is just torture to play. But, it just comes down to this: I could care less if the team I’m playing on wins or loses. Remember the part where I said I’m not aggressive? This is a factor, too. If I’m going to play a game, I should want to win. But, if we get to the point where in my brain I say, “it’s just a game!” Isn’t it pointless to play? Note: I said playing. I love watching roller derby. Playing? Me? Ehhhhhh.

Wait. So, if I knew that I wasn’t aggressive why did I want to try roller derby in the first place? Jamming. I wanted to be a jammer (the star helmets that try to get through the pack). It’s A LOT harder than it looks. In fact, being a jammer is annoying. For me. There is a big wall of people you have to get through and remember how I said I didn’t like touching/hitting people?

Honestly, there are some AMAZING aspects that I liked about roller derby. WRD is the awesome. The people in the derby community are amazing. Everyone is down to earth and really nice. Even though they look tough, they really are just normal people. But, I’m not about to spend 9 hours a week on something I’m not passionate about. I am thinking about being a non-skating official though, but we shall see.

So, my plan is now to lace up my running shoes again. But, that’s another post for another day.

You really thought I was going to write about running didn’t you?

Fooled you!

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Penny Ate My Mouth Guard, Again.

by Ashley on June 9, 2011

My dog is a bona fide little shit as referenced in the photo below:

Penny Mouth

This is the third time she has stole my mouth guard out of my gear bag and tried to eat it. THIRD!

What? Confused? Gear bag? Mouth guard? Yes people, a mouth guard. Are you wondering why I have a mouth guard?

I’m learning how to play roller derby.

Yes. You read that correctly. The full contact sport played on quad skates.

I passed tryouts on April 16, 2011 and have been part of the league  Wasatch Roller Derby since then. I bought my first pair of quad skates, 4 weeks prior to tryouts.  So, I’ve been skating for about three months now. Do I play the actual game yet? No. Not really. It’s a lot harder than it looks. But, more on that part later.

So, about the mouth guard on Penny’s nose. You see, I have a bag full of gear. Skates, wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, helmet and my mouth guard. I put my mouth guard in the outside pocket of my gear bag. When I come home, I take out all my gear and air it out. After 3 hours of training, my pads get really sweaty and gross. So, airing them out is a MUST. My bag just ends up on the floor. If I accidentally leave open the outside pocket where I store my mouth guard, Inspector Penny gets out her sniffer, steals it, and tries to eat it for lunch.

She knows not to eat my shoes (and pretty much everything else in the house), but she has a weird fascination with my mouth guard.

I don’t get it either.

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Inside Jokes

by Ashley on June 8, 2011

Me: You know what we need? WE need a song. That’s the only “romantic” thing Ashley wants.

JJ: ZZ TOP ZZZZZZ TOP

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Portland, OR 2011 Day Two

by Ashley on March 5, 2011

Day Two is here

The day started out with “What shall the Dansie’s eat for breakfast?”. I knew that The Original Pancake House originated in Portland, OR, so I thought it would be fun to eat at, The Original.

Original Pancake House_Portland

I’ve never been to the one that is in Salt Lake City, so it would be sort of new experience. We got there and the wait was around 45 minutes.  NO way was I going to wait that long for 2 eggs, so we decided to drive around and find another place.

Find another place we did:

We tried going to The Original Pancake House (the real one is here), but the wait was 40 mins. I'm hungry. So, we went here instead.

Nothing special.  But I did sense that my food had somewhat of a golden touch added to it.

After breakfast it was time to visit, Multnomah Falls.

Multnomah Falls_1

Multnomah Falls_2 April and Austin at Multnomah Falls Multnomah Falls_3

I wanted to get a photo of April and Austin on the bridge, so I stayed behind while they hiked up the trail to the top. Meanwhile, I just took photos of moss.

Multnomah Falls Tree

Multnomah Falls Leaves/Moss

Multnomah Falls Bench

If you look hard enough you can see them.

Multnomah Falls - April & Austin on Bridge

See? They look so enthused.

Multnomah Falls - April & Austin on Bridge

They had to hike back, so guess what I did? You guessed it. More photos of moss.

Multnomah Falls - Moss Multnomah Falls - Moss_2 Multnomah Falls - Moss_3

Multnomah Falls - Ash

Somehow we lost April, so me and Austin decided to be woodland creatures.

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After our adventure at Multnomah, Ape drove us to Troutdale, OR to McMenamins Edgefield. Read about it here or here. I didn’t realize they were such a large operation, until right now. But, who cares? They served beer and that what we were looking for.

Mcmenamins Edgefield Entrance_1

Mcmenamins Edgefield Entrance_2

We took at walk around the grounds, before finding a place to eat. I’m sure this place looks awesome in the summer time.

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We weren’t really all that hungry when we arrived. But, we did want to check out the beer, so we hit up their brew pub. While waiting for our food and treats, portraits happened.

Austin and April

Austin

April_1

April_2

Me_1

Me and Austin couldn’t decide what flavor of beer to try, so we decided to get the sampler.  This is where I discovered that I really love dark beer. Why it took me so long to discover this, I do not know.

McMenamins

The Sampler at McMenamins

Then, nonsense happened.

The Sampler at Mcmenamins_2 The Sampler at Mcmenamins_3

The Sampler at Mcmenamins_4

We did decide to order a pizza.

Mcmenamins Pizza and Beer_2

Done and done!

Done and done.

Day Three coming up soon.

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Living With Penny

by Ashley on February 22, 2011

This is what life is like with Penny.

Sloooowly going in for the kill.

penny 1

Ahhh, SUCCESS!

penny 2

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I Like Us

by Ashley on February 21, 2011

I was organizing my bookmarks this morning and I found the following image/quote.  I’m not sure where I got it, so I can’t credit the source (however, this was the saved link).

who we are

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Portland, OR 2011 – Day One

by Ashley on February 20, 2011

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Hi folks. It is now time for the recap of my recent trip to Portland, OR with Austin to visit April (Ape) a week before she moved home to SLC, UT. These posts will be word/picture heavy. Consider that your warning.

Friday, February 4, 2011

It was Austin’s first time riding in a plane. You would think I would have taken some self portraits of this event, but I didn’t. Just imagine us looking like idiots with plane seats in the background and that’s probably all you’re missing.

We arrived in Portland, OR around 9:30 AM.  Since Portland has an awesome rail system (needing a car in Portland is not really necessary), we hopped a ride on the MAX. Then I remembered about my camera and we starting shooting the standard thumbs up and weird faces photos.

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Then normal looking ones.

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Austin wanted to show off that he was able to fit his own pillow in his carry on bag. Pillows are important things in the Dansie family. But, so are magazines that have anything to do with diesel/dirt bike engines, as it is clearly evidenced in this photo.

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After our ride on the MAX, Ape came and picked us up at the rail station. I can’t remember what station it was, and I’m sure you don’t really care either. I just know we stood in a Trader Joe’s parking lot for 20 mins, because Ape had to finish watching an episode of Dexter. Priorities.

Ape took us back to her place where we proceeded to have a conversation that went a little something like this:

What do you want to do? I don’t care, what do you want to do? Do you want to go eat breakfast? Sure I guess. Where? Let’s go to that one place down the street. Is that okay? Yeah sure. Oh! Hey Ash! Look what I got you!

Red skinny cords? Yes please!

Ape hooked me up with some awesome pants. By awesome I mean they are red skinny corduroy pants from The Gap. She bought these on clearance for $8 (regularly $59.50). Since Ape works at Gap she hooks me up when things go on clearance. But, if you’re patient, you can find deals like this too! Don’t ever-ever-ever buy things full price at Gap. UNLESS, you have a coupon or they have a sale going on.  Gap always-always-always ALWAYS puts their clothes on sale. Also, if you shop at Gap stores you NEED to have their rewards card. It’s a must. I earned $260 in rewards last year (and paid $0 in interest). *Steps off the soap box. Well, in this case it’s a stool in the bathroom.

Did you want more photos of my red pants in the bathroom?  Thanks for asking, cause I’m going to show you.

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How about an animated GIF of them in action?

Red-Pants

After our sisterly nonsense ended, we finally went out for breakfast at a diner down the street. I can’t remember the name of the restaurant right now. The last time we went there someone lost their phone in the edges of the seat and Ape was scared it was going to happen again. Ahhh here we go. With the help of Google maps, you can see where we ate. Nothing special, just a diner where you can do things like this:

@gb Oh yeah? Tomatoes and ranch!

Afterwards, we decided to make our way to downtown Portland.  We hopped on the MAX at the Lloyd Center and these photos happened:

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April took us to the Pioneer Square (which is by the mall she works at).  We spent a couple hours shopping and it drove Austin nuts.  But, more photos happened:

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There is a statue in Pioneer Square that holds an umbrella. This is where the BEST PHOTOS of the trip happened.

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I was a little too short for a nose pickin’.

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Our destination was Powell’s Books, “The largest used and new bookstore in the world”. If you travel to Portland and you like books you MUST go to this book store. The place is HUGE.

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We spent an hour or so browsing books.  I bought Jamie Oliver’s cookbook. If you  haven’t tried any of his recipes, then you’re missing out.  His dishes are super easy to cook and they taste fantastic.

We then decided it would be fun to not take our original train back to April’s place, so we walked around Portland for a bit.  By walked around, I mean we were lost. During this time we were trying to figure out how to get back to the MAX, but we were all sorts of confused.  It wasn’t all that bad though.  We got to walk around more of Portland and China Town (which there are no pictures of…sorry).  We did make our way down to the train station and figured things out.  In the meantime photos happened:

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We finally made our way back to Lloyd Center and went back to April’s place for a bit.  We found a sushi place for some fish and Austin was nice to us and treated us to dinner.

Eating the sushi... Ape eating the sushi... Austin eating the sushi....

After that we went home and had a Dansie Family party.  Whatever that means.

Day two coming up when I’m not lazy and blog about it.

(For more photos of us in Portland, CLICK HERE)

Edit:

Day Two here.

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Modernist Cuisine

by Ashley on February 14, 2011

Have you seen this yet?

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“Modernist Cuisine is a six-volume, 2,438-page set that is des­tined to rein­vent cook­ing. The lav­ishly illus­trated books use thou­sands of orig­i­nal images to make the sci­ence and tech­nol­ogy clear and engaging.”

http://modernistcuisine.com/    http://modernistcuisine.com/blog/

There was an article about this book on The Wall Street Journal today. It is six volumes, 2,400 pages and weighs 47 lbs. Coming March 2011 for the bargain price of only $625.

The science behind cooking plus amazing photographs?  I’ll take it.

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Valentine’s Day 2011

by Ashley on February 14, 2011

Around here we celebrate Valentine’s Day the non-traditional way.  This year was kind of like last year, completely full of weirdness.  Here, I’ll show you:

Pink hoodie-footie pajamas and one confused dog.

Pink PJ's

Do people really buy these things and are serious about it? I mean… only a professional can make these pajamas somewhat attractive.  Cleary I’m not that person.

But anyway, cards that are in Spanish!

Outside Card

“I guess it doesn’t matter since we live on the WEST SIEEEDE!!!”

Inside Card_1

Inside Card_2

Are you the type of person that likes candy, wine and roses? It’s clear here that I prefer practical things, if you want to call hoodie-footie pajamas practical.

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Hey Little Red Riding Hood…

by Ashley on February 9, 2011

You sure are lookin’ good..

little red riding hood

I signed up to ride in the 50 mile of this race.  It’s on June 4th, 2011. It’s a big woman’s only bike ride. It’s a little ridiculous how girly it is. But, my bike is pink so we will fit right in.

Here’s the thing…

I haven’t been exercising lately. I don’t know what kind of funk I’m in, but I’m hoping to break out it. This little race will be a good motivator for me to start putting the miles on the bike.

…Stay tuned for my re-cap of the recent trip to Portland with my brother to visit my sister.  But wait! According to this blog, I just got back from Portland.  No guys, I actually went on a few trips, but just never posted them. Anyway, soon I will entertain you with real life nonsense…

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